THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE

HOMILY FOR THE FEAST OF THE HOLY FAMILY OF JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH

Rev. Fr. Ezekoka Peter Onyekachi

Wherever He enters, He makes Holy. The family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph is called Holy because of the presence of the child Jesus. The feast of the Holy Family commemorates their life together as the celebration focuses on religious family life. The Feast Day was officially instituted by Pope Benedict XV in 1921, and was then moved from being celebrated on the Sunday after Epiphany to the Sunday after Christmas in 1969. The feast of Holy Family is not celebrated to prove the shortcomings of our natural families. This feast does not exist to make our various families feel less in dignity; even though some families are marked by some shame. The family remains the nucleus of every society. It is the domestic Church that contains the very first set of people we meet in life. One thing so fascinating about the family is that we do not really choose its members. We are simply placed by God in any family we find ourselves. This is what the existentialist Philosophers such as Jean Paul Satre regards as facticity (the character of the thrownness of our being). We are thrown into our families. We do not choose our parents or our siblings. This is what God does for us.

After the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001 in the United States of America, on the World Trade Centre, Queen Elizabeth 11 of England in her condolence message was clear to the Americans that nothing that was said can ever take away the grief and anguish the people were passing. In her words, she said “Grief is the price we pay for love.” This sentence is very relevant to the feast we celebrate today. Every one of us would agree that no one can actually love us like the love from family which is natural. No one can also hurt us like family when they disappoint. The family remains the epicentre of love. We receive our first love there, our first cries, our first joy, our first hope; and indeed, our first ‘everything.’ To portray this family importance, the Igbos would say: iwe nwanne anaghi eru n’okpukpu (the grief against a brother does not last), ozu shiwe ushi, enyi ka nwanne agbaa oso (only the family can really stick to us in times of trouble. The words of Elizabeth 11 to Americans that grief is the price we pay for love makes us understand ourselves when we go an extra mile to love, forgive, help and care for family members, even when they have disappointed us over and over again.

Remembering the pains Joseph had passed through since the pregnancy of Mary, the flight into Egypt and now the words of Simeon to Mary in the Gospel (Luke 2:22-40) opens to our minds the love from family. They did not give. They continued to love and cherish their son. After his nunc dimittis, Simeon said to the mother of the child in Luke 2:34-35: Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rising of many in Israel and for a sign that is spoken against (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), that the secret thoughts of many may be revealed. Mary’s choice together with the choice of Joseph to love Christ in a society that was replete with sycophancy surely has some consequences. It will bring them grief. And so, grief is the price they would pay for loving Jesus. Even this Holy Family had this grief. Even when it appears that the more we love, the more we suffer grief –never you stop loving your family. As holy as this family was, there was still grief. Mary would pass through a lot, ranging from the ministry of Jesus, to his passion, crucifixion and death, she remained focused. She endured everything.

The lesson we learn here is this character of endurance for the sake of our family members. We also see this character of enduring pains and grief in the First Reading (Gen. 15:1-6; 21:1-3) in the life of Abraham and Sarah. Abraham was afraid for his childlessness. He was childless, yes, but he had no intention to divorce Sarah, or to marry another wife. The Lord knew his heart and then came to him to calm him. Abraham was concerned that a servant born in his household will become his heir. God in turn promises Abraham that his own son will be his heir. Abraham responded in faith, and had to set aside his worries, fears and doubts. His righteousness is built on the basis of this response. His total reliance upon God puts him in right relationship to God. He waited patiently on the Lord. It was in chapter 21 that this promise was fulfilled. The child didn’t come immediately, yet Abraham believed and waited. At a very old age, Sarah gave birth to Isaac.

Endurance is fanned by faith. The endurance of Abraham to love and stick to his wife despite all odds, and to believe and wait patiently for the Lord’s time is a result of faith. This is exactly what the writer of the Letter to the Hebrews made us to understand about Abraham. Many times, the writer uses the formula, by faith. By faith, Abraham obeyed God. By Faith, Sarah got conceived. By faith too, Abraham trusted God’s fidelity by trying to offer his only son, Isaac. By faith, Mary endured the pains of being the mother of Jesus. It is by faith that every family will survive. By faith, we can bear one another’s grief and pains. By faith, we garner the doggedness to pay the price of love. May we never as a family relegate the importance of faith. At this day which is the last this year 2017, my prayers are that every family will receive and abide by this gift of faith, and carry it over to 2018. Amen. God bless you.